I don't know what it is about me lately but the nostalgia is kicking in, big time.
Maybe it's not that there's anything wrong specifically, I do tend to go through phases in my life where I miss certain things, whether it be my childhood days or a teenage life, or the first years as newlyweds.
My kids though have been what is on my mind the most lately, that and the fact that I keep missing the time when they were little. It doesn't help that I watch so many vlogs of young moms who are just having their first babies, or have toddlers and are doing all that fun stuff that we do with them, whether it's going to the park to play, or taking them to Chuck E. Cheese or even just watching cartoons and playing with the newest fun toy out there.
I was thinking back on when we had our children, who as you know are now 16 and 12.
I didn't realize at the time just how fast it would all go by, like in the blink of an eye they are grown up. But I was watching a vlog, actually one I found just two days ago and I'm fascinated in the sense that it reminds me so much of my first few years of marriage and dealing with being a military wife and having a little one.
That sense of excitement leading up to the first baby being born, the hospital stay, the birth, then bringing them home and trying to figure it all out. The long nights, the exhaustion, and the incredible joy of seeing all their firsts. With it, the first deployment as a military wife, the fear and loneliness and trying to juggle keeping the home fires burning while missing your husband.
Something else really gets to me now, and it's not that I'm jealous.....well maybe just a little, not going to lie, but in talking to my niece who is currently dating a marine guy, and then watching this vlogger, it just made me realize how much easier it is for them today than it was for us 18 years ago.
We were lucky to get a 10 minute call once a week and even so, the calls were constantly dropping or almost impossible to hear over the background noise. Then we had the missed calls and I would cry so hard everytime that happened, we didn't have cellphones so when I went to get groceries or run errands or a doctor appointment, my worry was always that I would miss his call, and I did, on multiple occasions and then I would get home, hear the message on the machine and bawl.
There was no skype, communication was mainly through that little phone call or letters which took forever to get there, and the guys were usually so busy that I wouldn't get much of a response from him. To my one daily letter I would be lucky to get 1 a month.
I also sometimes wish I had a good camera back then, or that vlogging was in fashion because I kinda think that kids in today's generation have so much more recorded memories and photographs than my kids ever will. Sure I took photos with my 35mm and had a huge clunky video camera that I filmed a few videos with, but nothing like now.
I kinda wish I had vlogged everything from the pregnancies to the deployments, grocery shopping, the labor, their first birthdays etc. It's kinda sad that I don't have much of that at all.
Goodness I sound like a whiner at the moment, and please don't think I'm not happy with the few memories I do have recorded, not just here on the blog but through actual photographs and later on digital photos, but it's just not the same. You know what I mean right?
Almost makes me want another baby, which is not going to happen, not at my age and where we are in this point in our lives, not to mention wanting to vlog and take good pics is not exactly a reason to have a baby. HA!
Is there a point to this whole post?
I'm not even sure, but then again this is my personal blog and a journal and I guess sometimes we just want to get our feelings on paper, or in this case on the computer. I don't regret anything about my life, and the few memories I have recorded of my kids is something I will treasure forever, just think that I may have had a lot of fun being able to go through it all again in this day and age.
What do you think???
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